Recent Stuff

Here is what I have written since August '08. Please, feel free to comment.

This was inspired by the movie "Jodhaa Akbar" and a dream I had:

"Freedom Walk"

Coloured glass ornaments
Darkened orange veil
Tripping bell anklets
One step to freedom

She's afraid to take it

Painted hands to wall
Painted feet touch floor

She moves


I'm having trouble titling this one. I tried "Dead" but it seemed to give away too much. I tried "Children" but that had the same problem, so current working title:

"Malawi: buried"

Ululation breaks parched
Throat, skin, earth

Sandstorm enwraps bony
Body, cuts

Words into the skin, blood
Inked names of

Sorrows, sorrows lost on
Faces blank

Numbed and rubbed free
Of identity


Did any of you watch last year's "Superstars of Dance" with Micheal Flatley as host? This poem was inspired by the solo South African dancer Mamela Nyamza and her performance as a dying swan or crane (link to youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AswRJtS9_eg&feature=related)- you may remember her:

"Woman"

Brown belief:
She sinks into dirt
Dirt sky she imagines
Ripping open-
Giving out under its withheld
Burden

Of hope. Soft, wet, white,
Crisp, soap-sparkle of
Snow she's never seen
Kissing the bare

Bare-boned earth
Glassed into ocean
Water still as steel-stone.
She feels like she

Is tearing open
With pain- like ripping apart
Garments- stepping free
Of herself
In a white tu-tu,

Dancing the horizon:
A crane's jerking
Movements- broken lips-
Across snowed-on ocean,

Dirt-covered folded origami
Bird in palm encased,
Encrusted jewel
Dug from earth-deep death,
Star of Africa.


This next one was a meditation on the events of my life over 2009:

"Memory Fractured"

Carcass of wingless
Black bird of prey,
Hanging,
Slit open,
Bleached white inside:
If you should find a seed within it,
Throw it down to us
To pick at,
Splinter,
Misunderstand and squander.
Aborted life-
Again.

This is a favorite subject of mine:

"The Bellydancer"

She picks at her bedlah
Checks her nails
Listens for the zaghareets
Which are her cue
Nervous, her heart beats with the drums
While she practices some of the
More difficult moves of her
Routine- just before
The curtain rises and the lights come on
She whispers:
"I dance for you, habibi"


One more that I wrote tonight while thinking of someone:

"Joy"
n. 1. sunshine in the heart 2. swaying hip shimis back to front, first the left then the right 3. cascading cresendo of beads, coins, and fabric created by bedlah while executing said move and which radiates outward 4. the state of being on your mind

It's been a dry season as you can see. I consider only one or two of these as half-way publishable. Please tell me what you think. :)

Better or Worse

I recently had a friend ask me a simple question: Is life getting better or worse as you get older? Interesting questions ... I guess I have a mixed answer for this question.

I think my life is better because I'm older and wiser - I may not know all the answers, but I'm better prepared for finding the answers than I was when I was younger. My children are grown and they are 3 beautiful, healthy girls, so I guess I didn’t screw them up too much. The older two are planning weddings and the youngest is preparing for a summer at the Governor’s School of the Arts, so I am extremely proud of all three. And I have the prospect of grandchildren to look forward to.

My relationship with my wonderful hubby is even better because we have more time for each other. Over the past 25 years, our lives have been intertwined with love, work and parenthood, so it is great to get back to the relationship we had in the beginning, focusing on ourselves as a couple.

I am also retired from a job I hated (RN) and I'm now able to write more than ever - this has been a huge improvement for me. Granted, we don’t have the kind of money we used to and we are on a very tight budget, but my mental health is better, so this is a huge plus for the entire family.

On the other hand, some things in my life are worse. I'm not as fit and healthy as I was in my 20s - health issues seem to creep in every day. The society we live in is much worse over the past 20 years and this have impacted negatively on many aspects of life.

For the past four years, I’ve been living under the foggy cover of grief and it has been extremely hard to pull my life back together. I am nowhere near being back to the emotional state I was in four years ago, but I can say I’m better than I was six months ago and that is a baby step in the right direction.

I can say that I love my life! I may not be as active as I once was, but I am now able to pursue my dream of writing and this makes me a happy camper. My children are self-sufficient and leading happy, productive lives and this makes me a happy camper. My hubby has stuck with me through thick and thin, sickness and health, richer and poorer, and he still loves me unconditionally, and this makes me a happy camper.

Just because our lives are continually changing, doesn’t always mean they are changing for the worse. Sometimes changes are for the best … it is change that makes the world go ‘round.